Saturday, August 8, 2009
its back to the TRUST word again i guess
whos the one who ask me to have more confidence in him?to trust him?
im trying so hard to forget bout the lies he made the previous times.trying so hard to believe him & all
so its my fault to get all tis crap?
shes rly acting like a bitch which i got no other words to describe her.
trying to act nice in front of me?behind me?she always tries to say thgs bout me in front of my bf?
who is she?JUST BCOS SHES SO FUCKING CLOSE TO HIM?
they are workin together & stuffs are thgs that i CNT control & so im tryin not to worried bout all these.
trying to accept cos its reality that i have to face.bout them sms-ing each other evryday?so other than workin together,they have tons & millions of quality time to talk & all,almost evryday messaging each other?guess its endless topic.& me?i have to be the one finding thgs to talk to my bf worrying that he will be bored & all.trying to talk so much even when me myself am tired after shitty work.
when shes sick?where is her bf?why he have to care so damn much?i uds that frens shd care for each other.but she dont have to like OHH PT IM SICK..PT IM HAVING FEVER..blah blah blah.
i have been trying to put on a smile in front of her.just like shinyi's bday that day.its been long that i never go out with them.i DO NOT want to put on black face or what.this is my respect to both my bf & that bitchy so called once "fren".i dont used to hate her until i see too much TOO MUCH of her,& he just makes me hate her even more by doin all these.i pretend that its ntg.
shes those kind that is super 不自动
扮猪吃老虎.theres so many of this kinda ppl around.& she prove me that shes ONE BIG TIME GOOD IN ACTING BLUR/INNCOENT.
i have been saying,i know its nt very nice to look thru the msg.But its only hers that i get to worried cos i know each time there will just be thgs that im gona make myself puke blood when i see.after the last time i see & make a big fuss cos im damn pissed.NOW.i have seen too much of thgs that i cnt take it.
1.am i a maid or what?complaining to him that his bag is so heavy yet actin nice to help him carry his bag?for goodness sake,i dont even know that my bf's bag is in shop.if i know i would take & carry for him on my own & dont need her to take & kp so much.wheres yw?never ask her to carry my bag?OHH,i dont dare to ask her take lor,see whether she will auto ask later not.FUCK U.luckily im so auto to ask from her the bag to carry myself IF NOT,shes gona say me again.
2.wanting to watch G.I Joe mayb in a group?cos i have not meetup w jay or what for some time just trying to find a chance to meetup.so def not oli me jay n him wad.so find ppl that he will oso noe to watch together.& i super regret telling him that i tot of askin her & his bf.i ask him maybe he wana help to ask her & her bf,he told me to msg on my own.FINE!after the time slot is confirm i will msg them.but why must he even lie on this?i noe he sees her more & always got msg her.so why act like he dont wana ask her?but at the back doin it?still say dont let me know.ask her to act blur??& why must she say SHE WONT ASK ME ONE LA.WAIT TIL SHE ASK THEN SAY LOR.yayeayeaaaa.pls lor.I REALLY DID WANA ASK.jay n him should noe.BUT she say this kinda thg.挑拨..after knowing this,of cos im fucking pissed off.tell me.who wont???tring to cool myself down when bathing.thinking of whether to give him another chance.& i did,cos i so wana trust him & hopes he will not lie to me.BUT AGAIN,he did it to hurt me.i ask him nicely somemore.& he answers my qn w/o thinking that he DID NOT ask her yet & all.so deep in my heart,im speechless.
have i not given u chance b?
have i not been showing more tolerance as compared to last time?
have i not been a gd gf,& so thats how u treat me?
have i done anythg wrong not to deserve a bf i can trust & shows me that he can be trust through his actions & not word?
have i not pretended well enough,trying to accept al things regarding to her?
SO,whats more impt,her or me..its gona be a stupid qn.cos i noe u wont have an ans.u once told me,its gona be me.BUT u didn show me?
my heart is aching.its FUCKING pain.i hate the lying parts & all.
i hate having cold wars knowing u wont be there for me cos u will not know whats wrong.
hate being on my own.bt maybe i guess sometimes i need to learn to fall & be independent.
will there be anyone catching me when i fall?
guess not anymore...
Y8:00 PM
