im full.
im bloated.
im BROKE.
hahs.no link.
dont feel good being broke.
i dont wana niam bout money issues to baobei all the time
but i just wana let him noe that i cant always spend that much when we go out when i dont have much now
last time stable pay can save more of cos okay to pay more but now a bit too siong for me.
i noe he definitely will uds.bt sometimes i wish i dont have to worry so much.
so many things i wana do with him,i wana go with him,
i wana buy so many things too!
wish evryday will be a happy day,a happier day
wish EVRYTHG will goes smoothly for me,him & us

actually i just dont know if hes realli that t&c that he always just dont get me.so smtimes its no point explaining my thoughts when hes so blur and insensitive at times.
so may things to him it may be NOTHING.but its not.
like im just trying to think why must i bear with him giving mi all sorts of problems related to her.he knows i dont like them like this and hes always testing my limits of how far can i tahan?
like of all people but her to work together if got chance.of cos,its cos she got the capabilty.but like i have to think positive!HOW?

how do i feel when i feel im so useless of no help and all.of cos working tog is hard as a couple especially.but like im nothing that kinda feel,will u uds?i have to see my bf workin hand in hand with her?all the way from last time so many times i feel so upset cos of her and always giving mi new challenges over her..

who doesnt want his bf to do well?
of cos i do!
but?
i dont know............

evryday goin to work is all about complaining,whats new?nothing but more n more grumbling
its not evryday that i can work with colleagues that i prefer
there are definitely many times that ive to work with people MLRs that i cant take it
bossy,act innocent,act blur,act like they know evrythg!
roster wise,change n change..trying to uds.and i noe probably after this whole mth
things will change and be better.but i just cant find any reasons to stay on now.
i really wish i can get another job and leave immediately.
一时冲动 thought of quitting NOW!but i cannot afford to and i dont wana make another wrong choice again after quitting gior..hur..
evryday go to work think of $$$,thats my oli motivation now.no work means no $$$ uh.
but evryday im thinking,and comparing to my frens or people ard.why are they blessed with such good luck and life.they dont have to work like cows and get paid peanuts,they get high pay job easily or they are just rich.sighs.its so sick to wana get so many things and u practically know u cant get it.i dont mind now as long as i get a really stable job w better income n start saving again.but if continues at longchamp is IMPOSSIBLE.evrythg is envy.i wish my life turns better.not hat i dont wana work hard but i hope it will be less tough for me.better life,more hopes.


*i saw melissa tdy in shop and i dont know why i feel so.................scared and ganchiong.after years,i just dont wish to bump into certain people again on the streets or wadever.so i turn away and hide in the store room

i was shocked when he suddenly told me he loves me and all
and that he just wana tell me that
and ask me what i wana eat,he prepare for me.
isnt that the him i used to have
i tot maybe he had done something guilty thats y he's doin these
hope im thinkin too much.
why is it when im so upset and confused then i suddenly get to feel him :(
bt anyway i appreciate that just that..
im lost..needs to work a way out..

accounting on fri and tmr im workin again.hais.tell me,where do i have time to learn n remember?and my business mgmt is.....hais.i dont need to score well,i just want a pass.pls!but its too late now.i really dont wana retake.waste money waste time to stress again.i just wana get free from studies.

just now i still wonder why tdy baobei is so sweet when chatting w me on the phone
sweeeeeet~


after exam i feel so dead,somehow i got this bad feeling that i may not pass
and rly affects my mood for accounting which im nt even good at.shitty feel
whole day from mrning didn rly eat.oli ate 2 pcs of carrot cake.
feel so giddy on bus.
when im reachin wdlands,saw his msg.
and ...
i just dont know why isit that evryday i just have to face a new challenge.
its like tdy i may be angry and after that i learn and try to 看开一点
then tmr he just will do that thing again to let me worried or feel the jealousy thing again.
.
ive been trying to control my feelings.but have you spare a thought for me?maybe yes for one time then another day back to the same old u.
ive been also trying to understand that shes in the same workplace w him now and its something that cnt be change and i cant control..sometimes maybe he will plan to go out with them.BUT why?its like always la.ytd suddenly steamboat,then tdy say go town buy his things..then suddenly meet them for dinner?
so if i pretend im ok,that means its always gona happen?and ive to bear with it??
ahhhhhh
so maybe i should try not to feel the anger or sadness or jealousy.can i?
cos after so so so many times.im sick of feeling upset over this.
i guess ive no choice but ta tahan.cos its always happening..

what's wrong w this word- DARLING? lol.
seldom use this word actually.just when the feel is there dan use..

anyway YTD is ....... un-explain-able kinda feel
at Sakae i really dont understand why does he have to get so worked up over HER if there's ntg?
and he himself is being over-sensitive too.
maybe he didn realise it?
probably cos he's tired and im tired so it makes my meetup a bit gonecase.and both of us just aint at the right mood
i dont know why but i jus couldnt control my tears and all
lousy!
.
but why do i still go over when we are both so tired?
i oso dont know.i just wana have more time together.evrytime we meet for a while only makes me feel so sian.
.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAS
thinkin of the many funny things that happened at his house (:
make me laugh til i cry man
even tdy at work when im alone i thought of the few funny things
-what's with his fingers??itchy fingers always anyhow wipe things on his bed.eeew
-strawberry???barley??? LOL.i feel so bad but i rly didn know.....: (
-Me biting him in the middle of the night.that's rly funny to the max la.dont know why so jus nice.and evrytime we sleep tog,i always do stupid stuffs.HA

no life noo life nooo life-and that's my life :(
how pathetic
evryday is work work n work.waiting to signout during work cos time always pass so damn slow
and 3 more days exams!
ah ha
tdy im also tired,how to start studying.yes.excuses!but im rly tired.hais
god wont bless mi this time round i guess
thou i always 临时抱佛脚 but this time maybe 抱不到 leh
hmms
siannn

i really wanted to go baobei's hse tdy not for anythg but just cos i miss him and at that point of time i jus wana hug him and i dont dare to think bout work n exams
but,i know hes concern for my exams.hais.or maybe hes already planning to go out w his buddy so i cnt go over.that's ok.even for awhile.for tdy.ESP TDY.jus needed that hug badly.
.
seriously in no mood to even start browsing thru my notes.how to pass?accounting sucks and i hate studying.i cnt cnt cnt!but i cnt cnt cnt fail!its my last 2 papers but im mentally tired and blocked.ughhhhhh

Girlgirl says: I miss gorgor!
Tootsie says: I miss daddy!
Me: I miss YOU badly ever since i started this stupid job!


:(

i also wish to go redang
basically anywhr to have fun and with the right person/friends?
but i just cant go :(
im telling myself PLS BE CONTENTED!
and save more $ now is more impt
cos no $ means no holiday and all
Longchamp isnt that bad as wad i thought
but maybe cos of the malays environment?dont rly like it
and also the work till so xin ku and get lil $ pay?
but w coming up incentives and group target that heard from taka staffs say they actually evry mth oso cn hit and get additional 200 bucks?which is nt bad la with the other comms add tog.BUT provided that i can sell leather handbags la.for them is easy.
i think im rly nt suitable for perosnal comm style.不喜欢
not used to it.
yea yea.
im rly tired!giving myself excuses for being tired and have not started on studying
last2 modules!and yet i just couldnt start my engine
.

stay positive!(:

加油

so hot la.i hate it when im super tired then sleep early liao in the end wake up.Hur~
haha,i only know when i wake up the 1st thing is tot i didn wake up for work
and i just wana talk to bf.hmms
.
i just wana change a job ASAP
actually so far so good im contented with my working environment at taka
the people there are pretty nice people,at least for the time being OK
but afterall,im from ION and not taka
so i still have to adapt to the NEW environment AGAIN.
quite sian that i didn get to stay at Prg outlet for training too cos have to learn the boutique style again and oso the people there which my my real colleagues in ION.
i cant tahan this kinda shift seriously
but im trying to bear w it
exams are coming but i have not started.not excuses but really am too tired too start
tmr setup,evryday mostly have to prepare for the new shop,arghhhh.gona be even more zZz
.
i wana change job cos I WANA HAVE MORE FLEXIBLE HOURS WORK TO ACCOMPANY HIM
so that we can have more time tog.Oct seems so far but yet like very fast
and now,that when i worried more,i miss him even more
he's gona be busy working now,more hardworking.partly for more $ but oso...hmms
but its so diff to get a job w OK pay like gior and also god environment and OK working hours.
probably im asking too much
but what to do?
i dont wana have such kuku shifts so tiring and work so hard bt pay so lil.
i dont think its even worth it la
but i oso uds that shd stay longer if can,to rly see the situation
but definitely not like how i quit gior so sudden til jobless.cnt afford le la
.
i dont know why i always got this feeling that i need him more than he needs me now
usually its oso like that la
the one who starting liking/loving someone will be the one gets sian 1st
and the one who doesnt love that person that much will be the one in the end suffering cos he/she loves that person MORE.
.

actually dont feel like goin over baobei's hse ytd de
after that night's quarrel
but in the end i still went over cos I just wish to see him more?accompany him more when i can?
dont feel good so recently really feel like drinking.hmms
dont know why
maybe cos will feel better when u are drunk and i can sleep easily which is good

yea
tmr!another work day + haissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
tmr onwards i have to 忍 ! 看开点啊 依雯
wish that i dont have to be bothered by them
but if i really dont means i dont care
which i seriously dont want!
hope that he will keep his promise and dont over do it
hais

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
theres just so many times i feel like dropping a msg cos i care
HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its 12:45am
almost a day
yea.its oli a day BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO
its torturing me

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

just got hm not long from work
.
managed to cry myself to sleep ytd nite
its been real long that i had such a bad nite

.
how do u feel when u wake up and that person that u care most no longer cares bout u
when u are checking ur hp all the time just to see if that person contact u
when u just dont have the mood to bother bout other things,trying to make yourself busy with work
when u are wondering does that person think of u,miss u like u do?

Hais

i hate cold war
i hate the moment i step out of shop and immediately i think of our probs
and my tears starts to flow down and on the train my tears almost start flowing again
and i really have to force myself to not cry or i just cant stop
but it's time that we need to let each other cool down and think what's best for us
.
how long more?
or is it really the end?


i do miss him badly
but what bout him?
: (

my blisters are really killing me
no joke
hais
PAIN

痛死我了! :(

i just dont know how to say out how i feel
trying to take things positively now for the time being
i wish evrythg will be ok!all those that im thinking about
dont dare to repeat and say out to baobei
but im not feeling better even thou i din say out

　瓶子们若爱上对方，真的是占有欲好强的。他们轻易不表现出来，因为他怕他们过强的占有欲会泄露了他爱你不能没有你的底牌。不过如果他们开始限制你吃你的醋，那他一定是好爱好爱你的。　　　　瓶子们有时候真的很难真正相信他们的爱人。而且越是爱有时候越难相信。因为他们的谎言有时说的好多所以总觉得别人也是在欺骗。　　　　千万不要轻易伤害了瓶子们的心，瓶子们对爱情很没有承受力的。你可能想象不到，当你刚刚气痛了你的瓶子或是和你的瓶子谈分手跳脚离开的同时，他们可能就会打电话给他们的红颜知己或是有暖味关系的朋友们，说一些过分的话做一些过分的事甚至当夜就会和他们发生什么……，瓶子们不是想背叛你，瓶子们只是好悲伤，找不到更合适的方式来发泄。好多被伤害过的瓶子都会生活得很烂很灰色


k..this is really very accuarate in quite a few points and suddenly i just thought of "him" and baobei.

一个让我很伤心的人 有时候还会想到的 痛 很难形容
一个让我很担心的人 think its really like what the horoscope says
almost everything quite true

yeewen.依雯 26.01.89 我觉得对的事 不管别人说什么 我都会坚持要去做 不喜欢的事 你用枪逼我 我也不做

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